Keeping Respect, Position, and Sanity In Your Personal And Professional Life

As an entrepreneur AND martial arts instructor, I am often asked about the line between socialization and maintaining professional distance, and what has to be done to maintain the successful positions they hold. "Familiarity breeds contempt," so they say...

Recently though, I've had this question come up almost every day for the last week within different circles of people.

I understand why this question exists, and here it is in plain and simple English: not everyone practices what they preach. The answer, therefore, is as simple as this: be congruent in who you are with who you present yourself to be.

Why give yourself the additional headache of trying to be someone else? It's exhausting! Ever seen Robin Williams' movie Mrs. Doubtfire? Then you know exactly what I mean. Not only is it exhausting, but it's not sustainable. Pick a side and stay there - quit jumping the fence!

I can't really say I have both a personal and professional life, just a life with private aspects that everyone should cherish and protect and that I know I have the right to keep to myself, but nothing at all I have to be ashamed of. I may have moments where I am *not myself,* but when that ever happens in front of someone who has never seen me in that light, I have the privilege with that person for them to say "oh, he must simply be having a bad day," simply dismissed because they know who I am.

As a result, whether I'm making a friend or meeting a potential client, I don't have to flip any switches or rehearse my demeanor... I comfortably enter any situation, regardless of the relationship, with very little stress, and never any regret.

If you're having this issue, consider congruency... it's very liberating.

There is a more specific question that is often asked though: "is it acceptable to *hang out* with my clients?"

If you aren't living personally and professionally congruent, then you have no choice but to say "no, can't ever happen." On the other hand, if you are living personally and professionally congruent, then you have a series of choices to make, because I believe that under those circumstances, it is possible for you to make your business relationships socially fun, if you make it very clear what you find acceptable. Always set clear standards and expectations for relationships of any kind and you can ensure they are positive, mutually beneficial (even synergystic!) and most importantly, long lasting.